Memories of Lompok

I am walking barefoot, alone on the sandy beach every grain offers it's accumulated wealth of sunray to the night which my soles intercept, grateful tiny laughter in the bushes that grow next to the sea swaying on a hammock of wind, dipping branches, like fingers into the place forbidden the sea is calm and kind and black tiny giggles, invisible yet beautiful like bubbles floating lazily on a first warm day of spring laughter of a foreign language yet I am the foreigner, if they follow I fit in when our eyes meet, my smile gives me away and yet out of the darkness, like Alexandria, al revez, in the sky, a mirage of lights the tea must have been potent for the lights can't really be they are bright and many and huge, towering from the sea up to the night and there is nothing like that here there are dragons that will devour a man with only its drool and fish that wield horns and chase you away all the way up onto the shore and giant clams that hide treasures behind their iridescent smiles there are monkeys that watch you, banana in one hand as your bus hugs the curvy road, monkeys that undoubtedly wave bye-bye as soon as you can not see but there is no such thing as this thing that looms just far enough away and thrusts me harshly, unkindly and blind back into the world where I am really from

Just because this is my favorite song in the entire world, I decided to post the entire thing. Please forgive me for misspellings and inconsistencies... Alfonsina y el Mar Por la blanda arena que lame el mar supe que mi hueya no vuelve mas un cendero solo de pena y silencio llego hasta el agua profunda un cendero solo de penas muda llego hasta la espuma sabe dios que angusta te acompaño que dolores viejos callo tu voz para recostarte arrullada en el canto de las caracolas marinas la cancion que canta en el fondo oscuro del mar la caracola te vas Alfonsina con tu soledad que poemas nuevos fuiste a buscar una voz antigua de viento y de sal te requiebra el alma y la esta llevando y te vas alla como en sueños dormida Alfonsina, vestida del mar... Cinco sirenitas te llevaran por caminos de algas y de coral y fosforecentes caballos marinos haran una ronda a tu lado y los abitantes del agua van a jugar pronto a tu lado Bajame la lampara un poco mas dejame que duerma no driz(?) en pas y si llame el no le digas que estoy di le que Alfonsina no vuelve y si llame el no le digas nunca que estoy di que me he ido Te vas Alfonsina con tu soledad que poemas nuevos fuiste a buscar una voz antigua de viento y de sal te requiebra el alma y la esta llevando y te vas asi alla como en sueños dormida Alfonsina, vestida del mar

I'm thinking about entering the novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo to this contest (well, an excerpt anyway) If you've got anything 10,000 or less consider entering! http://narrativemagazine.com/node/7668

scary and comforting

I just got a call from my best friend.  We've know each other through many years starting in our teens and so undoubtedly, we've been through ALOT together.  She has always stuck with me and I with her.  When I saw her name on the caller ID, I walked with the phone and stood in front of my south facing window which is my source of comfort throughout the NorthEastern winter that leaves my dark skin and even darker irises yearning for light and warmth.  My friend's sweet voice on the line, the extra light from a bright, sunny day reflecting off a foot of snow.  Twiggy the Chihuahua curled up on the sofa--happiness...until she told me of a harrowing night that she lived through with her newly wed hubby six months ago--six months ago!! and she could just barely now tell me about it.  My heart sank.  I was saddened that they had gone through that experience and then the doctor called her in.  I said goodbye, told her I loved her and as I lowered my cell to my side, three bunches of spottled leaves revealed themselves to me through the snow.  Tulips!  The continuity of life, the reassurance that no matter how cold, how dark life may get, the sun WILL shine again, life will overcome.  And love?  Well, love gets us through it all.  I realized how fortunate my friend and her husband were to have had each other to go through this.  I remembered all the tears from broken hearts caused by men who were not interested in being there for her and I felt happy for her, that she has finally found the one to wander through life with.  The tulips told me, without their eye popping colors but with their sturdy leaves.  And I welcomed the message with joy, and thanked them with a smile.

On that note, inhale love, exhale fear...and viva!

Rejection--Phillies style

So I've just kicked the anti-tech habit and I've been spending hours upon hours within the twitter vortex--it's so much worse than facebook.  In fact, I've neglected facebook for months...sorry friends I'm in a bit of a selfish mode and enjoying the ability to pick who i actually want to hear from.  Plus, there's always a lot going on at Twitter...anyway, back to the subject of my title for this blog.  Last night, after my critique group I found myself once again wrapped up in my newly found parallel world of twitter/blogging.  But like a fairytale princess, the bewitching hour was approaching and honestly, i just can't hang with the before-school-the-bus-is-coming-where-are-your-shoes routine if I don't get enough sleep time.  SO, I pull myself out of the vortex and decide to check my work email before shut-down.  Bad idea.

An email from the Philadelphia Phillies which started with the promising subject heading "Phillies appearance request for Philadelphia Youth" ended with a body stating "we have decided to pass on this project.  Good luck."

Wow.  Devastation.  I'm not exactly sure what didn't interest the Phillies community relations department about Allstarz!  a program designed to give words of encouragement to kids who are actively engaged in their communities.  But, hey.  I guess it's collateral damage and at this stage of my budding writing/directing career I know I should expect a fair amount of rejection.  And with that in mind, I'm sure down the road I will be thankful to the Phillies for having helped me grow that thick skin needed to survive in this industry.  Then again, I may choose to never forgive them.  Right...inhale love, exhale fear/anger/rejection/anger.  I think I'd better not skip yoga today.  Yes, and meditation in the hot, hot sauna..

Right, love...inhale love...

so today I learned (re-learned, really) to check the fridge every day for items reaching their "maturity" and use them up before they become expensive compost.  I ignored the large tub of organic salad greens (I know, I know!) but i promise not to let the romaine lettuce suffer the same fate, okay??promise. 

I also learned that a handful of people from very different walks of life (except the fact that they are all writers) can give very constructive, gentle critiques on writing.  But that doesn't make the fact that in one month they will be critiquing MY first novel (parts of it) any less terrifying.  So here it goes: inhale...wait, in my horror i forgot my own motto(?!) well, anyway, exhale fear....exhale fear...exhale fear...

This one's for my precious pie

I love you like the morning

dew

I love you, yes

I do

I love you more that sunny

beams

and the whispering 

of trees

I'll love you til the oceans

dry

and then I'll love you in the sand

I love you precious

through and through

every breath

I love you true