Friday, April 17, 2009

ahhh...love...

Hold on, I'm gonna grab myself a large gin and tonic and then i'm gonna ramble on about love...amor...the real thing which twists and turns through so many depths and faces...
ew wait, not enough lime...
Cual es esa cosa, oscura y humeda como una cueva, que toma esa cosa concreta, la lame y la vuelve sublime.  Love should be straight forward, the ubiquitous arrow flung by a little stupid brat with carefree aim.  But it isn't.  Love is love, that much is true. there's no a little, in a way, kind of, or maybe; love is love is love.  But then again, is it?  what is it about love that makes it so complete, and yet threatens to fall precariously over that edge of doubt upon a fleeting thought of a love past?  Is it the spritefulness of having been younger that makes an old flame blaze?  Were we, the many me, that much closer to being one, true self back then that makes a silhuette in a darkened room, bring tears to my eyes?  What is it that I yearn for, when I know who I am now, what I have, is the purest, best thing I have experienced so far.  A life I would not trade for those hands pounding gently, a rhythm to a time that is nothing more than a ghost, living in a sweet dream.  Is it more like a chapter maybe?  Maybe things get better incremently, or maybe it's just a collection of short stories, is what it is.  And there are some that are just so good and maybe they feel like they ended to soon and maybe it was just so good, that we'd like to take a dip again.  But have you ever gone back to your favorite place, once you've move on to the next story?  It's never the same and always heartbreakingly different.  Is that what makes the tears run into my mouth? that bittersweet that tastes like life?  Remembering how good it was and knowing it will never be just like that again.  Maybe we shed tears for the future and what is yet to come.  All the never will be like this again that we haven't even loved through yet.  Maybe the tears are the smiles in this twisted world of love, and it's only natural to cry if you've ever loved, and we cry just for love's sake.  Because that's what it feels like to love, it's heart wrenching and we can't feel it, cuz it's inside so deep, all protected and covered up by ribs and skin and so we cry so we can taste it and remember what it felt like, what it feels like and what it will feel like to love, love, love...ahhh...still need just a little more lime. xoxo 

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