Monday, May 4, 2009

Oh, whoa, is me

So I'm coming out of the darkness...a little bit.  Sometimes it just seems like I'm not living the life I want to live, or doing the things I picture myself doing, some are things I used to to, some are things I always wished I do, and some are things that have only just appeared before me.  Overall, it seems like I'm just not charging and nothing is very much fun...anymore.  It's been so easy to blame it on an East coast versus West coast thing, the seasons, the overcrowded city, the boring small town, the iddy biddy family, my partner's personality, having to be at the bus stop at a certain hour, the big dog, the small dog, the wild cat, the blah, blah blah.  
It's just sick, isn't it??
It's enough.  I'm stopping the madness.  Really, I know that the only thing all the things I blame and bitch about have in common, is me.  I don't exactly know how to be one of those happy, put-together people.  But damn it, I know what I believe in, what i want, who i want to be, who I want surrounding me and I've just plain run out of excuses.  I don't know why I carry the weight of the waves crashing on my back rather than float in the ocean's bouyant bosom.  But I'm starting to suspect that it's all in the way I'm choosing to see things and if it's as simple as that, then look out- one step at a time, I may just glance in the mirror and see a happy girl with a happy blog.  (Don't worry, I'll still allow myself iddy biddy lapses into nostalgia--it's just too delicious to totally go without ;)
Alright, vamos!  I'm not even gonna wait for the sun to come out!

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